It makes me sad to admit, but I do not feel that I am getting the spiritual fullness that I need from my church. This problem, I fear, has been a long time coming. I just don't get much out of it anymore, which upsets me beyond words.
I love all of my church family, but sometimes friendships just aren't enough in a church. It's been especially hard since most people have moved away for college and it seems like we hardly have time to have any fellowship together at church.
Not only that, but I just cannot get connected to the services. I do not feel like they are connecting with me and the way that my life is going right now.
I'm so hungry for the fullness, but week after week I just feel empty.
I'm not sure how to fix this problem. Do I stick it out because it's the church I've been going to since I was born and have so many friendships and connections with. Do I stick it out because I feel like if I don't go I might be judged. Do I stick it out because of the few things I am involved in, even if I am not benefiting from it?
Or, do I seek out another solution? Even though I hate saying it, do I seek out another church to be a part of and be active in?
It breaks my heart to think of maybe having to do that, but I don't know how to feel full if I stay in the spot that I am in.
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I understand this feeling, girl. Sadly, I'm in the same boat of feeling tied to the church simply because of family and friends. That's not what a church is about. I'm lucky that I have a church that I can go to while I'm "away" which fills me up, provides opportunities for me to serve, has a small group for me to plug in to, and that reaches out into the community.
ReplyDeleteFBC has a rich history and a lot of relationships, but sometimes I think people confuse the warm-fuzzy feelings of sitting in the pew in the pretty sanctuary next to the same person you've been sitting by for 20 years with the feeling of being challenged and filled by God's Holy Spirit.
Here are my suggestions for you:
Stay the course. I took a survey one time in my Sherwood Oaks Sunday school class about how I worship and how I experience closeness to God (I think my result was through church, service, and music), and one of the suggestions it had for me was to not forget about your home church. It basically said that I as a person need to be filled up with music, a sermon, powerful words, communion with others, etc. and to not get frustrated when things aren't "perfect." It's really hard. We WANT it to be perfect and to meet our Spiritual needs. And don't get me wrong. It should. But stick it out. Maybe after the new technology is finished, there will be more ways that the service can relate to you.
Speak to your pastor. God put him in YOUR church to help be YOUR guide. Tell him what you feel like you're missing. Maybe he doesn't realize it.
Stay involved. I know you're busier than most, but it really is great to be involved in as much as you can be without burning out. Right now, you're probably being burnt out because you're giving so much and getting very little "fuel." You might not realize that your involvement is a blessing to others.
Read your Bible, and get involved in a small group. It's not practical to say that your current Sunday school class is enough of a small-group setting. Ask some friends that go to different churches if they're involved in a small group study anywhere, or maybe some Christian organization on campus, and get involved in that. You will make a core group of Christian friends and be able to have true community and fellowship with each other.
I'ma pray for you.
Hey, Marly! So, I've definitely had the same feeling before! I have a few suggestions if you're still having this trouble.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, we have to remember that we're not there for us necessarily, we're there to worship God, so we must keep the focus on Him. But I agree that we also need to be learning about Him and growing closer to Him. We should be leaving the church building differently than we arrived every Sunday, I think. When we feel like that's not happening the way it used to or needs to be, think about this: you get out of it what you put into it. Not necessarily how much work you do for the church or service, but if you really try to get something out of it. And, like soo many things in life, we can't do that on our own. We need God's help. Lately, before every sermon I'll just simply say something like, "God, please open and CHANGE my heart this morning. I want to hear you and feel you." And when I pray that prayer, it works. I am changed.
Eventually, I may find myself needing to move forward, but, I'll trust God to tug on my heart when that day comes.
I hope you find out what He wants you to do. I love you! I'll say a prayer for you fo sho!(:
Love, Maria