New Year, New Me 2

So not only have I been working out every day, which I kind of love, but I've also started to cook a lot more too. Just another to add to the new me this year.

Last night Jase and I made a chicken stir fry that we found on Loseit.com 's facebook page that someone had made. It consisted of a stir fry veggie mix (broc, peas, baby corns, carrots, water chestnuts and red peppers) and we also added green pepper and onion.

Cook all of that in a big frying pan or in a wok (which I just purchased today and can't wait to use!) then add 2 oz of chicken (Jase added it raw and then cooked the chicken with the veggies).

Also on the side in a separate pot, cook a packet of Ramen noodles (don't season them).

After the chicken is done, add the cooked noodles to the pan/wok and then add 2 tbsp of Stir Fry Sauce and mix together.

Each serving is only 250 calories and is so delicious!

I've included a picture from last night to show you the end (and delicious) product. Try it and let me know what you think.

New Year, New Me.

So being the 5th day of the new year, I decided I needed to blog about a few exciting times that have happened in my life and ones that are still to come.

On December 13, 2010 in the wee hours in the morning, Jase (FINALLY) got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! We started to make dinner around 11:00 at night. We made chicken (helper) fried rice and Shells and Cheese, super fancy I know. After we were done eating, I said something about needing to clean up our mess so that his mother wouldn't get mad, and he said "I figured I'd go ahead and give you your Christmas present so you can start using it." because I was supposed to be getting Reebok Easytone shoes. So he went down and got my present and it was a semi large box, when I unwrapped that one there was a smaller box inside that was wrapped that said "Will" on the top of it. After I unwrapped that one, there was another smaller box inside that said "You". On the next box it said "Marry", and then on the 4th box, which was the box my ring box was inside of, it said "Me" and by the time I got to that box, he was down on his knee beside the table. It was very sweet and very romantic, and I can't wait to start my new life as Mrs. Poag. I haven't decided on an exact date yet (that's on my to-do list for tomorrow) but it is going to be sometime in April 2012.

I decided not to go back to school this semester. I'm not 100% sure of what I want to do with my life.... still. I'm pretty sure I am going to go Ivy Tech next semester and major in Hospitality/Event Planning, but not so sure. I'm so ready to get a degree and to get a real job.

Since I have my wedding coming up, I've decided that there is no better time to really buckle down and get into shape. I decided to buy an Xbox Kinect and I'm so glad it did. Even though it's only been a few days since I've had it, I've used it every day and my body is sore, but I know that it's a good thing because it's getting me closer and closer to my goal. We bought Dance Central and the Biggest Loser "game". I absolutely love Dance Central even though I feel like a giant loser because I don't do some of the moves exactly right, but it gets my heart beating and my body sweating all while I'm having fun. The Biggest Loser is a little bit of a different story. I love it because it's just like a work out video, except for the fact that it tells you when are you doing the moves wrong unlike a movie would. However, it is not much fun. I'm not even kidding when I say it's hard work. After the first 5 minutes I'm so out of breath, but after I'm done I feel so good about myself.

I'm also very excited because there is a small group of my friends that are playing "The Biggest Loser". We are going to have a contest for 17 weeks (until the beginning of May) to see who can lose the most weight. The winner wins money because at each weigh in every week (on Fridays) we are going to put $2 into the pot, and if you gain any weight you have to throw in an extra dollar. I really hope I win because not only will I have a fit body, but I'll have a coupe extra dollars in my pocket, which is always good when planning a wedding.

Not only am I exercising more, but I'm also really trying to eat right. I'm not sure how I'm doing, I'm very bad at counting my calories, but I feel like I am eating better that what I was. (that's another thing on my to-do list tomorrow, to buy a little notebook to write down calories) Today I made another batch of chili. My mom and I got the recipe whenever we were dieting together my senior year, it's my favorite chili ever! Here's the recipe it you would like to try it yourself:

-1 pound of ground turkey
-1 large can crushed tomatoes
-1/2 small onion
-1 1/3 cups macaroni or other pasta
-1/2 to 1 packet Chili mix (Williams is good) or Chili Powder to taste
-Lawry's Season Salt to taste
-Pepper to taste
-1/4 tsp. Garlic Powder
-Louisiana Hot Sauce (optional)

Brown turkey and saute' onions together, drain or rinse off fat (there should be very little). In a large soup pan add tomatoes, seasoning and 4 to 6 cups of water (the more water you use, the soupier it'll be).

Bring to a boil then turn to medium heat, add macaroni and simmer 15-20 mins.

Makes 4-5 servings.




I've included some pictures, I also started adding jalapenos to my chili because I love spicy chili! This has been my favorite recipe to make and eat from when we were dieting. It's really easy and it tastes so good!

Here's to a new, healthier, more fit year!

Thankfulness

Here's a semi-short list of what I'm thankful this year (not necessarily in order of importance).

1.) Jase Face- I don't know anyone else who could put up with some of the things I put him through. He is the only person who I feel like could love me no matter how I look or when I say something really dumb. He's always there for me, even if I don't realize it at the time, and he really does love me.

2.) My family- It's so full of love and I couldn't ask for a better one. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring family. If I didn't have them, I would be completely and utterly lost.

3.) My friends- These people are always around for me to pour my heart out to, from work problems to good grades. They don't judge me and they love me the way that I am. There's hardly anything I love more than to lay down at night and think of all the funny things that were said and done while being with them.

4.) My relationship with God- Although it may not be the best right now, I'm so lucky to know that I have a God who loves me more than anything or anyone here on Earth. It's so nice to have someone that I can turn to at any hour of the day and will know that He is always there and is always listening.

5.) Reggae, PePee, Chaz- My 3 wonderful and very special Boys. I love always having something to come home to. I love burring my face in their fur. And I love it when they cuddle up next to me in bed and purr for hours on end.

6.) My Church Family- It's so nice to have so many extra families that care for me. I feel so blessed to be accepted into a lot of different families and I love each and every single one of them. They are always there for me, and show me how to lead a Christian life, and I look up to them.

7.) My Job/Co-workers- I love my job at Hacienda Mexican Restaurant. It's nice to work for people who actually care about your goals, dreams, and even just you in general. And my co-workers are the best. I've got such a strong bond with most of them and they always keep me in a positive mood and always keep me laughing. There are many times throughout a shift that I think "Man, I just love my co-workers!!!"

8.) Being able to have the things I need to make it through each day. A warm place to lay my head down at night, money to buy food to feed my belly and to pay my bills, clothes to keep me warm and hide my imperfections, a car to get me to class and to work and to see all the people I love.

I just love the holiday of Thanksgiving. It makes you sit back and look at your life and realize what exactly you are thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! God Bless!!!!!!

I'm a failure.

Alright, let me just tell you how big of a failure I've been this week...

My CMST class had been canceled all week, so I haven't had to go. So why didn't I go to my English class at ALL this week? I can't tell you. I had a paper due Monday, and I still haven't even done it.
Ugh, I dont even know what's wrong with me. I am only taking 6 hours (after dropping 2 classes) instead of 12. I'm not even a full time student and I still can't keep up. It's not that I'm too busy, or the stuff is too hard, it's just whenever I get home, I just want to relax. I don't want to have to do homework. Especially since I don't even know if I want to really major in communications.
I just seriously don't even have any motivation to do anything right now. I wish I knew what my passion was. I wish I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wish I liked school and I wish I was good at it. I wish I wasn't a failure at this.

I think I'm going to start reading "The Purpose Driven Life" (for the 4th time) again. I really want to get my life in order. I want to know what I want to do, and I want to get it accomplished. I think this book will help me out. And to keep on track, I think I'm going to blog about it every night. Just I can be sure I read it instead of quitting like every other time I've tried to read it.

I'm just so ready to be done with school and to move onto the next phase in my life (aka marriage and motherhood).

I'm empty

It makes me sad to admit, but I do not feel that I am getting the spiritual fullness that I need from my church. This problem, I fear, has been a long time coming. I just don't get much out of it anymore, which upsets me beyond words.

I love all of my church family, but sometimes friendships just aren't enough in a church. It's been especially hard since most people have moved away for college and it seems like we hardly have time to have any fellowship together at church.

Not only that, but I just cannot get connected to the services. I do not feel like they are connecting with me and the way that my life is going right now.

I'm so hungry for the fullness, but week after week I just feel empty.

I'm not sure how to fix this problem. Do I stick it out because it's the church I've been going to since I was born and have so many friendships and connections with. Do I stick it out because I feel like if I don't go I might be judged. Do I stick it out because of the few things I am involved in, even if I am not benefiting from it?

Or, do I seek out another solution? Even though I hate saying it, do I seek out another church to be a part of and be active in?

It breaks my heart to think of maybe having to do that, but I don't know how to feel full if I stay in the spot that I am in.

MAD Camp 2010

Well another year at Indian Creek has come and gone. I'd like to say it passed by quickly and that I enjoyed it to the fullest, but then I'd be lying.

Needless to say, I had a rough week this past week. It all started out with our dear friend Sara Johnson's death on Sunday July 18th. Sara was a MAD camper of ours (and so were here 2 little sisters). A long long time ago, Sara and I were campers together, and then I was her cabin leader. It's just so hard to believe that she is gone from us. The weirdest thing is, is that we saw her on Saturday night at the parking lot at Mr. Gatti's. Looking back on it, I wish we would have stayed out and talked in the rain with her a little longer, and I wish I would have jumped in her car and gave her a big hug. But hindsight is 20/20. We now know that Sara is up in Heaven with God our Father, and having a good ole time!

My girls in my cabin were a little bit of a challenge this year. Although I love them all dearly, they made my week a little more rough. I had 9 girls to keep track of, and that's a lot; 3 of those girls had never ever ever been to Indian Creek before, and out of those 3, 2 of them were sisters. I had one girl I had was, awkward around people, and we had to have a bunch of talks about getting along with everyone. The first and second night my 2 little sisters were homesick. They wanted to call their mom and go home, but I didn't let them, and by Tuesday they were fine and dandy and made it through the week. I also had many of my girls that had to go to Nurse Karen. My girls probably should have had a "frequent visit" card for how many times they went there. Also, at one point in the week, I had to do a load of laundry for a few of my girls... that was... awesome.

One thing that came out of my rough cabin was I felt like God was speaking to me throughout the week. And I'm not gonna lie, I don't think that that has ever happened to me. We kinda had a bunch of problems in our cabin throughout the week, and each day I had a devotion planned for the end of the day when we were all back in our cabin, but God had different plans, and he was able to tell me that through out the day. I did one on how God made each of us different and how much He loves who we are, and how everyone should accept us for who we are, because some people felt like others didnt like them. Another night we had to have a devotion on forgiveness, and I told the story about the men who owed each other money. One servant owed his king ten thousand talents (which is about 3 billion dollars), but he begged his king to give him more time because he didnt have the money. The king just said to forget whatever he owed him. But then that servant went out and saw one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii (which is only 5,000 dollars) and the servant didnt have it. So he coked him and had him thrown in jail. So when their king heard of this, he went to the servant who owed him 3 billion dollars, called him a "wicked servant" and told him that he should have forgiven the guy who owed him 5,000 dollars because he forgave his debt of 3 billion dollars. The king had the servant tortured until he could pay back all that he owed. And in Matthew 18:35 it says "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart". (Matthew 18:22-35) That was a fun devotion.

This week we also had a new camp pastor. Pastor Sherri Moulden was our pastor, and she was absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed sitting in chapel and hearing her words. You can definitely tell that she loves God, and loves what she does, and wants to touch so many people's hearts and lives. One special thing she did for me throughout the week was ask how my day was going, and gave me pats of encouragement. I'd like to say, that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to get through the week.

We also were able to have a band this week at MAD Camp. We were blessed to have En Gedi from Indiana Wesleyan University all week. They were fabulous and helped make chapel my most favorite time of the day. Their songs were great, and we had a great time learning them. I don't know about anyone else, but they have been stuck in my head since Saturday. The guys were also in charge of Cabin Olympics, which they took and made their own (Intergalactic Cabin Olympics) where the cabins were competing to be the leaders of the planet Zarkonia and they participated in several events that would earn the cabins Zarkons. Our cabin came in 6th (really 5th) out of 8 cabins, which was pretty good, even though I'm not sure how that happened, because my girls won a few things and we came in second and third in a bunch of events. Oh well, it was fun. :)

It was a rough week, but I'm glad I went. I'm glad to be home, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next year.

Not so sure.

So, as I sit here, looking at my computer, I'm kinda at a loss for what to say. I have a lot to say, just not sure how to put it without hurting anyone's feelings if they happen to read this...

I was over at the boyfriend's this morning because my car was being a hot mess last night, and I wanted to be able to jump it today if I needed. So. I'm over at Jase's, he's getting ready for work and I'm still sleeping.
I wake up, and ask him if he's going to have time to jump my car, and his response was "Well, my dad's here, so he can do it if you need it." Ok. #1. That's NOT what I asked. I asked if YOU had time to jump my car. I don't want to inconvenience your dad if you are completely capable of doing it yourself. #2. That's why I asked you last night what time you set your alarm, and when you said "9:30" I asked if that was going to be enough time to jump my car, and you said "don't worry about it babe." So I didn't worry about it.
So when I asked him why he didn't set his alarm earlier like I had asked him to, he said "I just thought it would give you more time to sleep." OK. Don't sit here, and make up some BS excuse as to why you didnt want to get up ten minutes earlier to help me out with something that's a pretty big deal. You just didn't want to get up earlier. And don't act like I'm crazy for getting upset with you.
What's going to happened if we get married? Are you just going to do things for me that don't inconvenience you?
Sometimes when I talk to my mom about marrying you, she just gives me one of those looks and says "I just dont know if he can make you happy like you want." Mom likes the boyfriend, she thinks he's nice and that he's a good guy, but she doesn't know if he should be the one I spend the rest of my life with. And it's things like these that sometimes make me think the same thing. And it makes me nervous. I want to get married soon, I love him and I've spent 4 years with him, I dont want to waste that or throw it down the drain. But how do I know he's going to be there when I need him? He obviously wasn't today. How do I know he's going to make me happy for the rest of my life when he doesn't reassure me?
I just don't know what to do. :(