Thankfulness

Here's a semi-short list of what I'm thankful this year (not necessarily in order of importance).

1.) Jase Face- I don't know anyone else who could put up with some of the things I put him through. He is the only person who I feel like could love me no matter how I look or when I say something really dumb. He's always there for me, even if I don't realize it at the time, and he really does love me.

2.) My family- It's so full of love and I couldn't ask for a better one. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring family. If I didn't have them, I would be completely and utterly lost.

3.) My friends- These people are always around for me to pour my heart out to, from work problems to good grades. They don't judge me and they love me the way that I am. There's hardly anything I love more than to lay down at night and think of all the funny things that were said and done while being with them.

4.) My relationship with God- Although it may not be the best right now, I'm so lucky to know that I have a God who loves me more than anything or anyone here on Earth. It's so nice to have someone that I can turn to at any hour of the day and will know that He is always there and is always listening.

5.) Reggae, PePee, Chaz- My 3 wonderful and very special Boys. I love always having something to come home to. I love burring my face in their fur. And I love it when they cuddle up next to me in bed and purr for hours on end.

6.) My Church Family- It's so nice to have so many extra families that care for me. I feel so blessed to be accepted into a lot of different families and I love each and every single one of them. They are always there for me, and show me how to lead a Christian life, and I look up to them.

7.) My Job/Co-workers- I love my job at Hacienda Mexican Restaurant. It's nice to work for people who actually care about your goals, dreams, and even just you in general. And my co-workers are the best. I've got such a strong bond with most of them and they always keep me in a positive mood and always keep me laughing. There are many times throughout a shift that I think "Man, I just love my co-workers!!!"

8.) Being able to have the things I need to make it through each day. A warm place to lay my head down at night, money to buy food to feed my belly and to pay my bills, clothes to keep me warm and hide my imperfections, a car to get me to class and to work and to see all the people I love.

I just love the holiday of Thanksgiving. It makes you sit back and look at your life and realize what exactly you are thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! God Bless!!!!!!

I'm a failure.

Alright, let me just tell you how big of a failure I've been this week...

My CMST class had been canceled all week, so I haven't had to go. So why didn't I go to my English class at ALL this week? I can't tell you. I had a paper due Monday, and I still haven't even done it.
Ugh, I dont even know what's wrong with me. I am only taking 6 hours (after dropping 2 classes) instead of 12. I'm not even a full time student and I still can't keep up. It's not that I'm too busy, or the stuff is too hard, it's just whenever I get home, I just want to relax. I don't want to have to do homework. Especially since I don't even know if I want to really major in communications.
I just seriously don't even have any motivation to do anything right now. I wish I knew what my passion was. I wish I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wish I liked school and I wish I was good at it. I wish I wasn't a failure at this.

I think I'm going to start reading "The Purpose Driven Life" (for the 4th time) again. I really want to get my life in order. I want to know what I want to do, and I want to get it accomplished. I think this book will help me out. And to keep on track, I think I'm going to blog about it every night. Just I can be sure I read it instead of quitting like every other time I've tried to read it.

I'm just so ready to be done with school and to move onto the next phase in my life (aka marriage and motherhood).