It makes me sad to admit, but I do not feel that I am getting the spiritual fullness that I need from my church. This problem, I fear, has been a long time coming. I just don't get much out of it anymore, which upsets me beyond words.
I love all of my church family, but sometimes friendships just aren't enough in a church. It's been especially hard since most people have moved away for college and it seems like we hardly have time to have any fellowship together at church.
Not only that, but I just cannot get connected to the services. I do not feel like they are connecting with me and the way that my life is going right now.
I'm so hungry for the fullness, but week after week I just feel empty.
I'm not sure how to fix this problem. Do I stick it out because it's the church I've been going to since I was born and have so many friendships and connections with. Do I stick it out because I feel like if I don't go I might be judged. Do I stick it out because of the few things I am involved in, even if I am not benefiting from it?
Or, do I seek out another solution? Even though I hate saying it, do I seek out another church to be a part of and be active in?
It breaks my heart to think of maybe having to do that, but I don't know how to feel full if I stay in the spot that I am in.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
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