Thankfulness

Here's a semi-short list of what I'm thankful this year (not necessarily in order of importance).

1.) Jase Face- I don't know anyone else who could put up with some of the things I put him through. He is the only person who I feel like could love me no matter how I look or when I say something really dumb. He's always there for me, even if I don't realize it at the time, and he really does love me.

2.) My family- It's so full of love and I couldn't ask for a better one. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring family. If I didn't have them, I would be completely and utterly lost.

3.) My friends- These people are always around for me to pour my heart out to, from work problems to good grades. They don't judge me and they love me the way that I am. There's hardly anything I love more than to lay down at night and think of all the funny things that were said and done while being with them.

4.) My relationship with God- Although it may not be the best right now, I'm so lucky to know that I have a God who loves me more than anything or anyone here on Earth. It's so nice to have someone that I can turn to at any hour of the day and will know that He is always there and is always listening.

5.) Reggae, PePee, Chaz- My 3 wonderful and very special Boys. I love always having something to come home to. I love burring my face in their fur. And I love it when they cuddle up next to me in bed and purr for hours on end.

6.) My Church Family- It's so nice to have so many extra families that care for me. I feel so blessed to be accepted into a lot of different families and I love each and every single one of them. They are always there for me, and show me how to lead a Christian life, and I look up to them.

7.) My Job/Co-workers- I love my job at Hacienda Mexican Restaurant. It's nice to work for people who actually care about your goals, dreams, and even just you in general. And my co-workers are the best. I've got such a strong bond with most of them and they always keep me in a positive mood and always keep me laughing. There are many times throughout a shift that I think "Man, I just love my co-workers!!!"

8.) Being able to have the things I need to make it through each day. A warm place to lay my head down at night, money to buy food to feed my belly and to pay my bills, clothes to keep me warm and hide my imperfections, a car to get me to class and to work and to see all the people I love.

I just love the holiday of Thanksgiving. It makes you sit back and look at your life and realize what exactly you are thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! God Bless!!!!!!

I'm a failure.

Alright, let me just tell you how big of a failure I've been this week...

My CMST class had been canceled all week, so I haven't had to go. So why didn't I go to my English class at ALL this week? I can't tell you. I had a paper due Monday, and I still haven't even done it.
Ugh, I dont even know what's wrong with me. I am only taking 6 hours (after dropping 2 classes) instead of 12. I'm not even a full time student and I still can't keep up. It's not that I'm too busy, or the stuff is too hard, it's just whenever I get home, I just want to relax. I don't want to have to do homework. Especially since I don't even know if I want to really major in communications.
I just seriously don't even have any motivation to do anything right now. I wish I knew what my passion was. I wish I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wish I liked school and I wish I was good at it. I wish I wasn't a failure at this.

I think I'm going to start reading "The Purpose Driven Life" (for the 4th time) again. I really want to get my life in order. I want to know what I want to do, and I want to get it accomplished. I think this book will help me out. And to keep on track, I think I'm going to blog about it every night. Just I can be sure I read it instead of quitting like every other time I've tried to read it.

I'm just so ready to be done with school and to move onto the next phase in my life (aka marriage and motherhood).

I'm empty

It makes me sad to admit, but I do not feel that I am getting the spiritual fullness that I need from my church. This problem, I fear, has been a long time coming. I just don't get much out of it anymore, which upsets me beyond words.

I love all of my church family, but sometimes friendships just aren't enough in a church. It's been especially hard since most people have moved away for college and it seems like we hardly have time to have any fellowship together at church.

Not only that, but I just cannot get connected to the services. I do not feel like they are connecting with me and the way that my life is going right now.

I'm so hungry for the fullness, but week after week I just feel empty.

I'm not sure how to fix this problem. Do I stick it out because it's the church I've been going to since I was born and have so many friendships and connections with. Do I stick it out because I feel like if I don't go I might be judged. Do I stick it out because of the few things I am involved in, even if I am not benefiting from it?

Or, do I seek out another solution? Even though I hate saying it, do I seek out another church to be a part of and be active in?

It breaks my heart to think of maybe having to do that, but I don't know how to feel full if I stay in the spot that I am in.

MAD Camp 2010

Well another year at Indian Creek has come and gone. I'd like to say it passed by quickly and that I enjoyed it to the fullest, but then I'd be lying.

Needless to say, I had a rough week this past week. It all started out with our dear friend Sara Johnson's death on Sunday July 18th. Sara was a MAD camper of ours (and so were here 2 little sisters). A long long time ago, Sara and I were campers together, and then I was her cabin leader. It's just so hard to believe that she is gone from us. The weirdest thing is, is that we saw her on Saturday night at the parking lot at Mr. Gatti's. Looking back on it, I wish we would have stayed out and talked in the rain with her a little longer, and I wish I would have jumped in her car and gave her a big hug. But hindsight is 20/20. We now know that Sara is up in Heaven with God our Father, and having a good ole time!

My girls in my cabin were a little bit of a challenge this year. Although I love them all dearly, they made my week a little more rough. I had 9 girls to keep track of, and that's a lot; 3 of those girls had never ever ever been to Indian Creek before, and out of those 3, 2 of them were sisters. I had one girl I had was, awkward around people, and we had to have a bunch of talks about getting along with everyone. The first and second night my 2 little sisters were homesick. They wanted to call their mom and go home, but I didn't let them, and by Tuesday they were fine and dandy and made it through the week. I also had many of my girls that had to go to Nurse Karen. My girls probably should have had a "frequent visit" card for how many times they went there. Also, at one point in the week, I had to do a load of laundry for a few of my girls... that was... awesome.

One thing that came out of my rough cabin was I felt like God was speaking to me throughout the week. And I'm not gonna lie, I don't think that that has ever happened to me. We kinda had a bunch of problems in our cabin throughout the week, and each day I had a devotion planned for the end of the day when we were all back in our cabin, but God had different plans, and he was able to tell me that through out the day. I did one on how God made each of us different and how much He loves who we are, and how everyone should accept us for who we are, because some people felt like others didnt like them. Another night we had to have a devotion on forgiveness, and I told the story about the men who owed each other money. One servant owed his king ten thousand talents (which is about 3 billion dollars), but he begged his king to give him more time because he didnt have the money. The king just said to forget whatever he owed him. But then that servant went out and saw one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii (which is only 5,000 dollars) and the servant didnt have it. So he coked him and had him thrown in jail. So when their king heard of this, he went to the servant who owed him 3 billion dollars, called him a "wicked servant" and told him that he should have forgiven the guy who owed him 5,000 dollars because he forgave his debt of 3 billion dollars. The king had the servant tortured until he could pay back all that he owed. And in Matthew 18:35 it says "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart". (Matthew 18:22-35) That was a fun devotion.

This week we also had a new camp pastor. Pastor Sherri Moulden was our pastor, and she was absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed sitting in chapel and hearing her words. You can definitely tell that she loves God, and loves what she does, and wants to touch so many people's hearts and lives. One special thing she did for me throughout the week was ask how my day was going, and gave me pats of encouragement. I'd like to say, that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to get through the week.

We also were able to have a band this week at MAD Camp. We were blessed to have En Gedi from Indiana Wesleyan University all week. They were fabulous and helped make chapel my most favorite time of the day. Their songs were great, and we had a great time learning them. I don't know about anyone else, but they have been stuck in my head since Saturday. The guys were also in charge of Cabin Olympics, which they took and made their own (Intergalactic Cabin Olympics) where the cabins were competing to be the leaders of the planet Zarkonia and they participated in several events that would earn the cabins Zarkons. Our cabin came in 6th (really 5th) out of 8 cabins, which was pretty good, even though I'm not sure how that happened, because my girls won a few things and we came in second and third in a bunch of events. Oh well, it was fun. :)

It was a rough week, but I'm glad I went. I'm glad to be home, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next year.

Not so sure.

So, as I sit here, looking at my computer, I'm kinda at a loss for what to say. I have a lot to say, just not sure how to put it without hurting anyone's feelings if they happen to read this...

I was over at the boyfriend's this morning because my car was being a hot mess last night, and I wanted to be able to jump it today if I needed. So. I'm over at Jase's, he's getting ready for work and I'm still sleeping.
I wake up, and ask him if he's going to have time to jump my car, and his response was "Well, my dad's here, so he can do it if you need it." Ok. #1. That's NOT what I asked. I asked if YOU had time to jump my car. I don't want to inconvenience your dad if you are completely capable of doing it yourself. #2. That's why I asked you last night what time you set your alarm, and when you said "9:30" I asked if that was going to be enough time to jump my car, and you said "don't worry about it babe." So I didn't worry about it.
So when I asked him why he didn't set his alarm earlier like I had asked him to, he said "I just thought it would give you more time to sleep." OK. Don't sit here, and make up some BS excuse as to why you didnt want to get up ten minutes earlier to help me out with something that's a pretty big deal. You just didn't want to get up earlier. And don't act like I'm crazy for getting upset with you.
What's going to happened if we get married? Are you just going to do things for me that don't inconvenience you?
Sometimes when I talk to my mom about marrying you, she just gives me one of those looks and says "I just dont know if he can make you happy like you want." Mom likes the boyfriend, she thinks he's nice and that he's a good guy, but she doesn't know if he should be the one I spend the rest of my life with. And it's things like these that sometimes make me think the same thing. And it makes me nervous. I want to get married soon, I love him and I've spent 4 years with him, I dont want to waste that or throw it down the drain. But how do I know he's going to be there when I need him? He obviously wasn't today. How do I know he's going to make me happy for the rest of my life when he doesn't reassure me?
I just don't know what to do. :(

I just LOVE babies!

My good friend, LaDawn, had her baby yesterday!! His name is Josiah Davis. He's 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and 20 inches long! And he's perfect, and beautiful, and oh so sweet. He was born at 2:55 pm on July 1, 2010. I just love him already.

And I'm soooo proud of LaDawn. She has been such a trooper through this whole experience. She's so brave and kind and just awesome. She is going to make such a great mommy, and Josiah will love her so much because she'll be so awesome!

I have engagement/wedding/baby envy right now. I'm so jealous of all the new fiancees, and the new husbands, and the new wives, and the new mommies. There things are what I've wanted my whole life, and now that we're at that age where these things can start happening, I want them to happen RIGHT NOW! I just can't wait. I mean, I can, like, I know I should wait until I'm done with school, and have a steady/decent job, and a good amount of money. But I'm ready NOW!! JAse and I have been together for 4 years, and it makes me so jealous whenever people get engaged who haven't even been dating a year. I'm happy for them, but I wish it was me. I try to tell myself that I'm not in a hurry, but I know it's a lie. Oh boy. I was also a little jealous of LaDawn's sister Tab yesterday. She was beaming and so excited to be an aunt, and it makes me sad that I had that privileged taken away from me for the moment. I know my time will come, but it just hurt my heart a little bit.

Had a slow day at work today. But my first table was ridiculously awesome. Their bill was $23 and some change, and they gave me $40, and told me to keep it. That's over $16 for a tip! It was awesome, but totally not expected. I gave them good service and I talked to them a bit, but I didn't do anything out of the ordinary or exceptional. I guess that some people are just nice, and I love nice people!

I can't wait to be engaged.
I can't wait to be married.
I can't wait to have a family. <3

It's been a while...

It's been almost a whole month since I last blogged.

Today, June 21st, is my brother's 24th Birthday! Happy Birthday big brother! It's funny. when he moved away, I never thought that I would miss him. When people would ask me "Are you going to miss your brother?" I would immediately say "no way!". But boy was I wrong. I miss him like CRAZY! I have considered many times moving up there just so I could be with him. I love visiting him and just being able to hang out with him at his apartment all day. Sometimes I wish he'd move home, but I know how much he loves it in Cincinnati. I just hope he knows how much I love him and how much I miss him.

Went to Ichthus this past weekend. For those of you who don't know what Ichthus is, it's basically a christian woodstock. It's a 4 day music festival with all kinds of different music. I'd have to say that my favorite performer was LeCrae. He's a rapper. He was so fun to watch and had such good Godly lyrics and when he spoke it us, it wasn't a "preachy" type of speaking, it was just like he was talking to us. I also really like Franchesca Betestelli (probably spelled wrong, but I'm too lazy to look it up), the Afters, THE WEDDING, Sanctus Real, and Casting Crowns. I went with the Smith family (Scott, Joannie, Robert and Christian). I just love that I'm basically a part of their family because I'm always around them. It's nice to have so many people at my church care about/for me, even though I have no family there myself. (This picture was taken with Joannie's iPhone and we were able to send it and have it appear on the two big screens next to the main stage. We're basically famous!)

I'm ready to get my life in order. I freaked out last week because I couldn't find my debit card (for the second time in 2 months!). Luckily, it was in my car, where I thought it was the whole time, and I found it while I was cleaning. But still. I'm so over not having my life in order and not organized. It's hard though, because I'm so busy with work and other things, that when I have some free time, I'd rather spend it napping or doing something else that I love to do rather then clean and get things organized. I need to learn how to balance these things in my life. I'm ready for that.

And now I'll leave you with some sweet lyrics from LeCrae:
"People get it living for a job,
Make a little money start living for a car,
Get em a wife, a house, kids and a dog,
Then they retire, they living high on the hog,
But guess what? They didn’t ever really live at all,
To live is Christ, and that’s Paul I recall,
To die is gain and for Christ we give it all,
He's the treasure you’ll never find in a mall,
See your money, your singleness, marriage, talents, your time,
They were loaned you to show the world that Christ is divine,
That’s why its Christ in my rhymes,
That’s why its Christ all the time,
See my whole world is built around Him,
He’s the life in my lines."
-Don't Waste Your Life

Idk

Do you ever just take a step back, and look at your life, and wonder if this is how it is supposed to be? There are so many things in my life right now, that I'm just not sure of, and I don't know how to respond or what to do about those things, and it's bringing me down.

Bubbles

While my dad is away on vacation, I'm in charge of counting the money and closing up his restaurant. I went in a little early tonight because my Insight isn't working properly and I HAVE to watch Dancing with the Stars tonight (it's the finale). While downstairs, I got to talking to a man who is ALWAYS in drinking and talking to my dad. I can't remember his name, but I see him almost everytime I'm here, and he's a real nice guy. I was talking to him, and he was telling me about how proud my dad is of my brother and me and how much he loves us. I almost started crying, because Dad doesn't tell us a lot of the time how proud of us he is and how much he loves us. Sure when we end a conversation he always says he loves us, but we've never actually had him sit us down and tell us these things. So talk to this guy was a real eye opener.
One thing he told me was that Dad is/was pretty upset about Tyler and Jessi having a miscarraige. He said Dad was so extatic when he found out because Dad never thought he'd live long enough to see his grand kids. To me, this is weird, because I've always worried about my parents not being there to see me get married or have my babies, but I never thought they worried about such things.
My parents had us when my dad was 38ish and when my mom was 36ish, which is pretty late in today's world. So, Dad's 60, and my mom's 59. Ever since I was a young girl, I've always been scared about my parents passing away before I have my 2 most important goals met. I think that's part of the reason why I was so ready to marry Matt when I was 19. I wanted them to be able to see me married, and to see their grandkids, and for me to have them be proud of the woman/wife/mother I had become.
I've always been in a hurry to get married and have babies, and after tonight, I'm even in more of a hurry to do those things so my parents can have all of their goals accomplished to.

Pentecost and sunburn.

We had our out door Pentecost service today. It was fun. Our drummer was a no show, so Adam stepped in and played the drums. And for not being a drummer, he was pretty darn good! We're all very proud of him and grateful for him being able to rise to the challenge. Also, Shawn, the choir and myself did a good job on our choral anthem "Fill A Me Up". Loved it! However, I was outside for 3 hours, with hardly any sun block on, and you know what that means? It means a really bad sunburn on my chest and the backs of my shoulders. :( Then I went to Miss Ann's house. I love having a second family. They mean so much to me, and I do not know what I would do without them. I honestly feel like I am part of their family, and I hope we are always as close as we are now. We had some chinese and sang Happy Birthday to David. Then Alex, Gabrielle, and I sat infront of the tv, watched some softball, and looked at one of Alex's scrapbooks that Angel had made. Then I took a nap. :) Went to close the pub, closed at Hacienda, then went back to the pub to finish closing, then came to Jase's and we went swimming for a whole 5 minutes. It was sooooooo cold, but felt sooooooo good on my sun burn.

I haven't been reading my "Purpose Driven Life" book since the last blog. I just haven't had the time. Which makes me sad to say, but this weekend has been soooo busy and I've been soooo tired by the end of the day to read it. I'll for sure get started on that tomorrow.

As for now, I'm ready for bed. Hopefully my sunburn won't keep me up too much.

P.S.
I GOT A NEW COUCH AND LOVE SEAT! :)

K-Love

They were playing K-Love at work today about 30 minutes before I got off work. It was so funny how much that radio station lifted my spirits. It was near the end of the day, and I was growing tired, and frustrated, and I just wanted to go home. But when I recognized the songs and the all too familiar "more music, K-LOVE", I got so pumped. I was instantly put in a better mood and was singing all the songs at almost the top of my lungs. A co-worker of mine said "What is this? Jesus music?!" and I said "YUP!". I also kept getting strange looks from my singing, but I didn't care. God had put me in such a better mood by those few songs I heard before leaving work. I wish we played K-Love all the time. Work is pretty great, but would be even better if K-Love was played.

I think I'm going to start reading "the Purpose Driven Life". I tried reading it once, and only got past one day. I wasn't in the right state of mind at that time. I have never had such a pulling to God in my life as I do right now. And I don't want that to decrease. Hopefully reading this book will help me put everything together and grow even closer to God.

This Sunday is our Penecost Sunday. I hope it goes well. It's going to be outside, and our praise team from Wednesday nights are singing/playing for it. We are also doing a "human video". The choir is singing, and I've got a baby solo/duet. I'm pretty pumped. I hope this service reaches a lot of people. Calvary Baptist Church is joining us, and I'm pretty excited about that. Maybe this is planting the seed of a growing church.

Prime Time Wednesdays are done for the summer. I'm a little sad about this, but I'm also excited for the break. It was beginning to be too much. We could never practice, especially with all of the "end of the year" stuff going on. Hopefully we'll get it together for the fall. :)

There are so many things happening Saturday. First: I should be getting my new couch and love seat delivered! I'm sooooo excited about this. I've only been without a couch for almost a month now. Ugh. Also, it's Jase's mom's 50th Birthday party, AND her and Jim are renewing their vows. I. Can't. Wait! Ra's 20th birthday party is Saturday. I'm real excited. We're going to have a scavenger hunt around the city. It should be a good time.

Where is the love?

Why is it so hard for guys to understand that girls LOVE to get flowers? My boyfriend doesn't understand the concept. We've been together for basically 4 years, and he's only bought me one thing of flowers (carnations), from wal*mart, that cost $3; and the only reason why he bought them was because I was really upset with him about something. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't appreciate them, because I really really did. I loved them. I took pictures with them. I told everyone about them. I didn't care that he got them from wal*mart instead of having them delivered. I didn't care that they were only $3 instead of $50 (I wouldn't want him to spend that much anyway). So why is it soooo hard for him to run by wal*mart every so often and pick up a thing of flowers for me, just to show me he loves me? Yeah, they die? So what? They are nice to get, and if he knows I like/want them, then why does it matter? I just do not get it. If he knows they make me happy, then why wouldn't he want to get me some? I don't want to sound superficial or anything, but COME ON!!!! What kind of girl doesn't like getting flowers?

Better

Things are looking better.

I still think I might be a little depressed from my crap-full weekend. But I'm better.

I've realized Vet's in a better place. She'd been sick for so long that I'm glad she is not in any pain anymore. I know she wouldn't want me to sulk about it anyway. Can't wait to see her again in Heaven.

As far as the miscarriage goes, I'm still a little upset about that, but not mad. These things happen. Sure they don't happen to everyone, but with God by my side, I will be able to get over this struggle and move on. I just hope Jessi and Tyler can find the same comfort in God that I have been able to find. God is soooooooo good!

I can't wait for Mitchell Farmer and Heather Middleton's wedding!!!! It's going to be in St. Louis and Charity and I are going up a night early to go out on the town. We're looking for our hotel at the moment, and we've found some that are as cheap as $39 a night! Who's pumped about that? I'm pumped about that! Of course the wedding will be a good time too! I bet Heather is going to be so beautiful. It'll be fun to party with everyone at the reception! I just LOVE weddings!

Becky's in Honduras right now, and I miss her. It stinks not being able to just text her. I cleaned my living room/dining room and hung a few things on the wall, and I wanted to take a picture with my phone and send it to her, but she wouldn't get it for another week or so, therefore it's pointless.

So my Mindy girl is in a relationship. I'm so happy for her. I can't wait for September! :)

Charity is planning another trip to IKEA. I really really REALLY hope I get to go this time. I need end tables and a coffee table for my NEW COUCH!! Haven't gotten it delivered yet. They have it in the store, I just need to call them to see when our schedules match up to have it delivered.

I'm. So. EXCITED!

I just wanna be mad for a while...

So this past weekend has been a pretty tough one.

Friday, on my way to work, my dad calls me and tells me that a really good family friend of ours had passed away earlier that day. Her name is Vet, and she has worked for my dad at The Pub for as long as I can remember. We've been very close with her our whole lives, we used to celebrate Christmas with her every year, and we would do stuff together like go to WWF wrestling matches. She's had cancer for the past yearish, so I mean, it's kind of a good thing because she isn't suffering anymore. She's been in a nursing home and just losing so much weight. I went to visit her twice, but now looking back on it, I wish I would have went to see her more. So my dad tells me 10 minutes before I go into work, so I walk in their with cry face, and everyone was asking me what was wrong which made me cry even more. So needless to say, my night was pretty bad.

Then Saturday comes, and I'm still sad, but I'm better. And Saturday was LaDawn's baby shower. I was so excited, and I went and we had a good time. But when I got home, I got a call from my brother. He told me that Jessi (his girlfriend) had a miscarriage. She had texted me earlier and told me she wasn't feeling well and that she might have a bladder infection, and she said she would probably have to go to the ER later that day if it didn't get better. Well it didn't get better, and it wasn't a bladder infection either. So my brother and I only have a 2 minute converstion because I was just at a loss for what to say. What do you say in a situation like that? So now he's not going to be a dad, Jessi isn't going to be a mom, and I'm not going to be an aunt. And what makes it even worse, is that the very next day was Mother's day. She I'm sure that was extremely hard for Jessi, I know it was for me, and I wasn't even the one who was going to have a baby.

I'm not going to lie. I am mad at God. I know it's easy when you aren't in a bad situation to always tell be "God does things for a reason..." and "I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV), but how could He let this happen? Especially 2 things right in a row like that. After I heard the news of Jessi and Tyler, I cried and threw my hands up and said "WHAT NOW GOD?!?!?! WHAT ELSE ARE GOING TO THROW AT ME?!" It's not fair. It's not fair that some people get to have strong healthy babies, but my brother and Jessi don't. It's not fair that people we love have to be taken away from us. And it's not fair that things ALWAYS seem to happen at the same time! WHY?!

I know I shouldn't be mad at God. But I am. I feel like such a hypocrite, but I can't help it. I've been asking for prayers for my brother and jessi, and even for me, so that I can stop feeling like this. I've read Bible passages about putting your trust in the Lord and I've engulfed myself in Christian music. And while reading and listening to these things, I've felt better for the moment, but when I'm not constantly being surrounded by them, I'm mad. I can't help it, and I hate this feeling. I hate being mad at God, because I know it is not right, and I know that it is not what He would want me to do. So if you could, just please continue to pray for me, my brother (Tyler) and Jessi, and my family and her's, that would be great.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5

My Best Becky Friend

Went and saw my best friend Becky perform her junior recital this weekend. It was pretty marvelous if I do say so myself. She is such a talented singer and performer. I am so glad she changed her major!!! She will definitely do good things with her voice and her ability to put on a show. I teared up during the last song of her recital. It was soooo funny and I was soooo proud of her, I just couldn't help myself. I'm so lucky to have such a great best friend.

WOW-ZA!!!

I can't believe classes are coming to and end already! I am so ready for the summer, but I am not as ready as some of my other friends are. I think taking that little break last year really helped me out. I now have a major that I am happy with, and I am not absolutely hating school. I actually some-what enjoy it... which is weird. I don't enjoy getting up early, but I enjoy my 2 communcations classes. I think they are very interesting and they keep my attention and I've actually learned something in those classes this year. I owe a lot of that to Zach, my professor. You can tell he's passionate about his job and that he actually cares, and that has made a world of difference to me. Not too much longer now, and I'll be a college graduate! Then it's off to the real world to try to find a job. I might need to figure out what I might want to do first. Oh well, one step at a time.

Flawed

I would just like the world to know, that my brother and I, regardless of what you may think, are NOT perfect. And I think it's pretty unfair that you expect us to be. You shouldn't put us up on a pedestal, because we will eventually fall off of it, and let you down. So it would be great if you wouldn't put us up there in the first place. We'll make mistakes... guaranteed.

BABY?!?! (not mine)

Yeah, that's right. Come October, I will be considered "Aunt Marly". My brother and his girlfriend, Jessi, are pregnant. "Excited?" you ask! You betcha!! I only hope that other people can be happy and excited for them as well. Yeah, it wasn't planned... so what? It happened, and now they are going to be parents, and they will be great at it!
Not gonna lie, it's a little difficult for me to see my brother with a kid, especially now, but I have no doubt in my mind that he will make a great dad, and that Jessi will make a great mom.
They're pretty nervous, but who wouldn't be. It's a huge life changing experience, but everything will turn out fine and how God wants it.
I'm real sad though, cause they do live in Cincinnati, which is a good 3 and 1/2 hours away. I want to be a great aunt to the baby (we should find out what they're having on the next doctor's appointment day), but it'll be hard from so far away. But I'm sure we'll all make it work! :)
WOO HOO!!!!

Update!

Ever since Easter weekend, I have been so unorganized that it hurts. I lost my debit card, I've forgotten do an assignment or two, I've been late to work once.. I just don't get it. I'm normally pretty organized, but my life just isn't having it right now. I need a day to where I can just sit down, write out everything that I have coming up (summer is going to be CRAZY!) and clean my apartment and get everything organized again. Because this simply won't do anymore.

Classes are about over, which means finals are coming up. HOLY COW, where did time go?!?! I'm expecting B's in my 2 communications classes, and C's in environmental conservation and public relations. It's a shame my PR teacher absolutely sucks, I probably would have enjoyed that class/major if she wouldn't have ruined it for me. I'm pretty excited about next semester. I've got an english class (ehh), and 3 communications classes. 2 of which are with Dr. Zach Henning (who I've had this semester) and he's absolutely fabulous. I'm also excited to join the Communications Connection club next semester. This semester has been to busy to attend anything, but next semester will be different.

Contemporary services are also coming to a close. Summer is just going to be too hectic for all of us to meet every week. But now worries, they will start back up in the fall, with hopefully a new guitar player. :)

Summer is going to be great!! I'm a little nervous though, I'm going to be gone so much, but I have to pay for my apartment... we'll see how that goes. I might end up wipping out the $1,500 I have saved. :-\ But I'm pumped for all the things I'm doing:

• River City Faith fest (working and also singing for it): June 26th
• MAD CAMP: July 18-24th
• Mission Trip to Chicago: not sure of the dates yet
• Mitchell and Heather's wedding: June 5th
• David and Susan's Wedding: July 30th
• Ichthus June 16-19th

Plus hopefully a trip or two to Cincinnati and/or Bloomington. I. CANT. WAIT.

Work is going pretty great too. I had a bad night last night, but still made some good money. I'm starting to close more, which means more stress, but also, more money. So I'm ok with that. We're also starting to play volleyball after everyone gets off work at USI. We played last Sunday, and even though I messed up my knees, I had a really good time.

My tummy is growling, and I'm on my 2nd hour of my break, so I better go get some lunch!

You know what really grinds my gears?

You know what really grinds my gears? People who think they are above everyone else who don't think they have to obey rules.

For example: I was driving home last night from the movie with Jase. I about to turn onto Fulton from the Lloyd exit, and I noticed there was a car waiting to turn left. We had a red light, and so after stopping and making sure there wasn't any cars coming the other way, I proceeded to turn right. As I was going, I started to notice the guy in the other car moving forward as well. As I turned and looked into my reveiw mirror, I noticed the person had turned left, while the light was still red!!! Now, why in the world would he think that it was ok for him to do that? There was no sign that said "Left turn on red allowed after stop". Just because no one is around (which there were people around, ie: me) doesn't mean you can run a red light!! Why do you think you are special enough to not have to obey the traffic rules that everyone else does? If you would have just waited, you would have gotten your stinking green light not even sixty seconds later!

Example number 2: I'm at school in the library typing this right now. Why does the girl accross from me think it's ok to have a coffee and a cookie/brownie/something from Starbucks with her at the computer? The rule clearly says that no food or drink (unless it's bottled) is allowed in the library. And you're sitting at a computer eating and drinking from a starbucks cup? REALLY?! Just because you are probably a rich daddy's girl doesn't mean you are allowed to do whatever you want.

I've always been good about following the rules my whole life. Maybe that's why I'm so picky about it now. But come on people. How about we follow the rules and shrink the size of our heads a little bit?

Second day back at college

Well, I thought I was losing a little bit of weight until I got my new school ID today. My face looks fat in the picture. OH well.... Ballroom dancing tonight and maybe a date with Billy Blanks after that. Then working out tomorrow and Friday on my 2 hour break between classes. :D

I got the most BA parking spot today at school. Front row, right in front of the ED building! I didn't even have to try. I was just driving down the road between parking lots, saw a girl open her car door, and so I flipped on my turn signal. It took her about 5 mins to actually get into her car and to back out, but it's whatever. That spot was worth it. I'll probably take a photo of it when I walk to my car after my next class. :D

Ballroom dancing is tonight. :D I actually have a partner this time!! Jase refuses to do it with me, so my new friend William Yu is going to come. :D What a good friend. I think he's pretty excited about it too. :D

I just got out of my environmental conservations class. We took a survey about just different issues in the world, and it makes me realize how absolutely clueless I am about the world around me. I'm pretty excited for the class so I can actually learn some stuff and join a conversation with my knowledge and my opinions on issues of the world. :D

Another thing I want to do: I want to take a class that teaches you what to do in case of emergencies. This thought came about a few months ago when i was working at O'Charley's. One of the hostesses collapsed to the ground having a seizure. Luckily we had managers there and other people who knew what to do. But if it would have just been me and her in the whole building, I would have had no clue what needed to be done. I also don't know what to do if someone has a heart attack, stroke, or even is just choking on something. I think that it would be a valuable life skill to have to learn these things. I'ma look into that. :D